De 65 grappigste #badstockphotosofmyjob

Het internet staat vol met treurig nieuws, alarmerende signalen, en haatdragend commentaar. Een beetje tegengewicht is meer dan welkom! Daarom heb ik besloten om een post te wijden aan de hilarische hashtag #badstockphotosofmyjob. Hierbij gaan mensen hun beroep opzoeken op een website met stockfoto’s, en delen ze het resultaat op twitter. Wat een pareltjes zitten ertussen! Het wordt helaas ook duidelijk welke stereotypen sommigen er over bepaalde beroepen op nahouden.

Ik zit niet vaak hardop te lachen achter mijn computerscherm (of toch niet zo vaak), maar bij deze hashtag wist ik van geen ophouden. Het zien van al die absurde wereldvreemde stockfoto’s en de bijhorende grappige commentaar heeft zeker voor wat luchtige verstrooiing gezorgd. Ik heb natuurlijk ook eens mijn eigen beroep opgezocht, en het resultaat op twitter geplaatst:

The most effective way to conduct your PhD research is to write “PhD” on an empty page. Pencils are recommended, coffee mandatory. #badstockphotosofmyjob pic.twitter.com/8sfwlv783g

— Haydée De Loof (@haydeedeloof) May 30, 2018

De 65 grappigste #badstockphotosofmyjob

Staat jouw beroep hiertussen?

#badstockphotosofmyjob The Neurologist will not find any brain tumor on a MRI of a knee joint? pic.twitter.com/nUzuRtEZo1

— monca (@monc_ca) May 24, 2018

As biologist we often seek for psychiatric help from the wise chicken that we have in every lab facility. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/P6VnSHKX9z

— Dear Eponine (@mylifeaseponine) May 18, 2018

As a medical scribe I often stand in an empty, untouched room with a face mask and no other protective equipment. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/G7UE3wV9tC

— Netsirk (@ksmithed) May 20, 2018

As a secretary I don’t have a proper workplace. Because if I do have, I don’t know how to use it anyway. And I ALLWAYs wear nylons and uncomfy looking high heels. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/kti34jsJ5P

— An B. (@AnB70628947) May 25, 2018

To make a GMO this is definitely how you do it. Just grab a piece of fruit and inject it with with some mushed up other fruit to make your very own frankenfruit.#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob #gmo pic.twitter.com/GqPEr1AYuT

— Charlie Evans (@charlie_sci) May 22, 2018

As an Event Manager, most of my days are spent throwing confetti into the air. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/jZxdJnHa2g

— Casey Henshaw (@CaseyHenshaw) May 24, 2018

An anticorruption specialist’s job mostly consists in rejecting money from random people… and sometimes dressing up as a slutty cop, in order to increase the effect #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/5iR4ZoEJxw

— Mata Kvari (@Avagabonde) May 26, 2018

People in #accounting #finance always print out their spreadsheets and recaluclate them with a solar-powered calculator just in case if excel gets it wrong. But only after putting their glasses off. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/Xh8Y1Jo7Gg

— Prof. Aljoša (@ProfAljosa) May 28, 2018

#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob This is how I am equipped when directing #documentaries . Teamwork is overrated. pic.twitter.com/20GeoMifLn

— barbro björkfelt (@bjorkfelt) May 27, 2018

As an IT Professional, I plug my laptop into empty hard drive slots… to make sure there is still no internet.#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/9OUAamrWlO

— Chas Llewellyn (@Yippyskippy11) May 17, 2018

Thought I’d have a go at #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob but this is pretty accurate: I count stars, draw some graphs (by hand) and then press my special benchmarking button. Et voila! #DataAnalysis pic.twitter.com/b8dT4U0E3S

— Jenny Scarlett (@ja_scarlett) May 23, 2018

As a #GraphicDesigner I always choose the colors for my work watching images of children’s painted hands, while I hold color sample cards, stick a bunch of empty post-it notes everywhere and type some numbers on the keyboard… #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/pqTPJ7QQ1p

— Douglas Loza (@jdouloza) May 28, 2018

As an insurance agent I often use paper dolls to demonstrate the importance of risk management to my clients. Sometimes we even make paper homes and cars. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/PrA13MC5lm

— Bruce Grebin Agency (@BSG_Insurance) May 23, 2018

The most effective way to examine an agar plate is to hold it up while looking through a microscope with both eyes closed. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/UmohED8f3O

— Courtney Prozeralik (@courtney_pro85) May 21, 2018

Wouldn’t know how to be a political scientist without my magnifying glass. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/UtyLKw8TwI

— Pieter de Wilde (@pieter_dewilde) May 30, 2018

As a software tester I can confirm that my job mostly consists of inspecting laptops with a magnifying glass because the bugs are often kinda tiny and might hide between the keys. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob #testing pic.twitter.com/NoWjpqQRX4

— Petteri Lyytinen (@plyytinen) May 17, 2018

As an academic #criminologist I’m used to people’s misunderstandings about what I do – but I think this is the best! Just hangin’ in my robes with evidence bags all day… Wassssupp Crimies! #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/VjSxikcGG4

— Dr Anastasia Powell (@Dr_AnastasiaP) May 15, 2018

As an accountant, I can play an abacus like it was a violin #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob #Accounting pic.twitter.com/WTckfh0izf

— Bill Kennedy, CPA CA (@Energized) May 22, 2018

I used to work at a travel agency and I always had to give people sample seashells and coconuts to listen to #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/JlgvUYTp0S

— Thant Nwe (@tthantnwe) May 17, 2018

As a science teacher, I often put on my lab coat & wool trooper hat, sit at my clean desk in front of random equations, set out my globe, put my test tubes in an upside-down spray can lid, and scream at plants #BadStockPhotosofMyJob pic.twitter.com/60aUWjbICI

— Ryan Lacson (@noscals) May 19, 2018

As a public relations professional, I find that the most effective way of getting my message out is to stand on a box in the middle of the desert and shout into a megaphone. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/DLGoAw7Tqu

— Christine Pulliam (@cristinepulliam) May 23, 2018

#badstockphotosofmyjob As a Neurologist I talk to holograms of brains, holding the spinal cord in order to avoid them flying away… ? pic.twitter.com/r0FDYM7t6e

— monca (@monc_ca) May 22, 2018

As an historian, I pile up books from large to small, mark rare books in different colours, check places on my handy tiny globe and then type my thoughts and findings on an old (and dirty) typewriter. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/Ut7JmK0f7t

— Dominik Waßenhoven (@domwasz) May 18, 2018

As a strategist, I play chess with myself a lot. And lose every time. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/okFoObOO9o

— Simone Bocedi (@bocedi) May 23, 2018

Because I edit books that are already print and bound, makes it a lot more portable. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/UA0eTUXe73

— Tamara Eaton (@LiteraryTamara) May 22, 2018

As professors, we wear lab coats to write on the board so that we don’t get chalk fingerprints all over our dress pants. And also we don’t do our hair because learning can’t wait for pretty. Or sanity. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/cfw8oysNbW

— Jossalyn Larson (@JossalynLarson) May 22, 2018

If anybody ever wondered, this is EXACTLY how we alter the DNA in biotech labs#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/GLKNEMJtXY

— Joanna (@cohistra) May 19, 2018

As a reproductive sociology phd student I can confirm that I spend a lot of time gesturing at models of ovaries with a ballpoint pen. They are tricksy things. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/A5sFlDZxgQ

— Kriss Fearon (@christabel6) May 17, 2018

I can confirm that i as a software developer, often blast a projection of code into my face. Helps me to wrap myself into the project, and feel the code better. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/nlTXAGBHDw

— Milos Mijuskovic (@mrmijuskovic) May 17, 2018

In the HR department everything is resolved easily and happily with a simple hanshake while others are watching #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/MHFUDIxl8y

— VINH KIM (@VKIMc) May 21, 2018

Reporter can’t understand why there isn’t more support for his story about a polar bear in a snowstorm. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/igfDaOLJsW

— Chris Pelletier (@ckpelletier) May 24, 2018

As a #lawyer, of course I creepily stare at the judge while holding a justice scale. That’s how you win your case. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/uDrlx6XAWx

— Lore A. (@Loneca) May 17, 2018

Having not enjoyed any technical advancements of the past few decades, architects only draw construction drawings by hand. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/py8K9T2u9H

— IGNIS STOP COOKING THEY ARE SHOOTING AT YOU (@johanirae) May 18, 2018

#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob what many neuroscientists forget is that you need to press the ‘on’ button on the brain first otherwise you can’t communicate with the little brain people pic.twitter.com/kT3XEpDPj4

— ScienceBishh (@alina_aaltonen) May 23, 2018

As a statistician I like to print all my numbers on a transparent sheet and just stare at them while figuring out how to order them in a scientific way#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/4OmB8BUotw

— Antti Impinen (@antimpi) May 18, 2018

Alternatively, when not being a male novelist writing in the dark and smoking heavily, I still use a typewriter (because) and practice bad posture and staring off into space while wearing this: #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob #Novelist pic.twitter.com/CMjspjmnka

— Tara Moss (@Tara_Moss) May 17, 2018

#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob

As a researcher of study of religion, I often stare into nothingness looking annoyed and holding a Bible (in Russian of course) and microscope. It is all I need for my analysis section. pic.twitter.com/eZlkjhBaHn

— Anna Haapalainen (@Haapalaiska) May 28, 2018

Yes indeed, sometimes my code is so bad that I have to check my laptop’s heart and lungs #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/g8bNKnKiP9

— Ramindu Deshapriya (@RamdeshLota) May 18, 2018

Uhm, of course I always wear cute hat, have perfectly styled hair and nails, and look over my glasses (without which I am blind) while waiting for students to answer this excellent critical thinking question, written in English. #EnglishTeacher #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/BsDnH4ffrr

— Lessie Ann (@LessieAnn_) May 25, 2018

I’ve found the best way to review proofs is to tape them up overlapping on a wall and rub my body against them. Wearing a lab coat. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob #editor pic.twitter.com/Dy5tQXGwZZ

— Erica Hruby (@tofupuppy) May 22, 2018

“I had trouble coming up with a new idea, so I procrastinated by sharpening every one of my colored pencils and drawing a light bulb (without wearing my glasses).” #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/LEYQyyrpwH

— Matt Ehresman (@mattehresman) May 25, 2018

As a translator, I love gathering dictionaries of multiple languages over my huge world map and plugging an earphone on one of them so they can listen to themselves while I make handwritten notes on a notebook. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/liBZKm5nsW

— Maíra (@mairalp) May 17, 2018

As a stay-at-home-mom, I always wear a suit to do crafts with my children. They need to take my job seriously. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/H06Ei0mvUx

— Family of Three (@JenandRoryAdopt) May 16, 2018

As a graphic designer, I always draw the logos on paper AFTER I vectorize them, so that the client doesn’t think I stole them from Shutterstock. I also paint them in watercolor because this is so much easier than with pencils#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/XlDQAAqjdK

— AlexandraNecula (@alenecula) May 16, 2018

As a biologist I watch grass growing in the lab, professionally counting the time with a sandtimer. Never forget to smile at your plants, it helps them growing. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/Dj6PUt8Cab

— Kiseki パンダ (@Kiseki90) May 28, 2018

Like a good biotechnologist, I can make full trees grow from green liquid in a tube#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/RAXr21QkdD

— A bee (@Aqua_Spirit22) May 16, 2018

Looking to add to the #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob & was surprised to find a woman surgeon but that’s maybe the only good thing about this photo… because what in the world is she using to operate on what I think is the brain? Wait she’s not scrubbed in! Yup this is baaaaad ??? pic.twitter.com/0n5E2ovdzV

— Franki Boulos, MD (@FaaBoulos) May 17, 2018

As a firefighter, I often walk into flames without a hose line carrying an axe and halligan tool. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/UhxM7h9mys

— Shayne Egan (@ShayneEgan) May 16, 2018

As a Social Media Strategist, I can make social media content appear like magic. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/fWORI95QwU

— Callie Goodwin (@Callie_goodwin) May 23, 2018

this is completely right, as a UXer the first thing I ALWAYS do is throw away the desks #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/4oblRy5JdT

— susan engel (@susanengel) May 21, 2018

#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob
Ah, the life of a statistician. When the weather is nice like now, I print out my pie charts and look at them in a street cafe. pic.twitter.com/HN7g5txfgK

— Gamblin’ Telly (@GamblingTelly) May 24, 2018

#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob

as an electrician i often stick non insulated screwdrivers into live stuff whilst not looking and giving a thumbs up pic.twitter.com/zBuuDygtG6

— Andy Hill (@jimnobot) May 16, 2018

#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob I push a lot of zombies out of the office, it’s pretty much all I do #officemanager pic.twitter.com/df83HZkX0I

— carol pope (@pope17) May 25, 2018

As a zookeeper I always enjoy safaris around the zoo aboard my razzle dazzle vehicle while animals are judging my poor life choices #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/nBGRV61Cnf

— Breeeeeeeeee (@OiseauBlizzard) May 26, 2018

As an architect, I always make sure to wear my hard hat and have my mobile in hand while drawing – just in case of an architectural emergency, you know. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/Z8sZucWTMj

— Sooze (@LastInALongList) May 21, 2018

My best stories have come not from dogged reporting but from papering my walls with print and falling out of my shirt. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/ElhYSFOhL3

— Megan (@meganguza) May 17, 2018

#BadStockPhotosofMyJob
I am such a sensitive pianist that I don’t even need to press any keys to achieve an ecstatic transcendent state. I can hear the sounds the piano *wants* to make. pic.twitter.com/Kqaa2SYR6P

— Sandra Mogensen (@sandramogensen) May 29, 2018

Oh I found one! The amount of sale I do is completely in my hands. I just need to twist that knob. Oh and you know why I may have a bad quarter. Just lazy to twist maybe. ?♂ #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob #sales pic.twitter.com/zglzfiExx5

— Kiron Sahadevan (@sgkiron) May 21, 2018

In case you wondered, this is what our business meetings look like. Discussing online marketing topics without these plastic figures that clearly visualize parts of our industry is simply impossible.#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob#OnlineMarketing pic.twitter.com/i1QymnCQkI

— killacookie (@killacookie2) May 21, 2018

I can confirm we always like to smile and point out where the ceilings are to secure a sale. Buyers always forget to check for ceilings… #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob #besthashtagever pic.twitter.com/xT6IfMUH0X

— Christian Slade (@CBSlade) May 21, 2018

Most of the stock photos of the female foresters looked about right to me but there sure were a lot of topless male forester pictures (Monty Python anyone?). I often see my male colleagues strip down in the woods and use their axes for personal hygiene. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/KAOxwdyhe2

— Susie Kocher (@UCsierraforest) May 17, 2018

As a professor, I am often amazed by how the world looks when I wear someone else’s glasses, while math explodes around me #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/Ln6Si2lh61

— Sameer Singh (@sameer_) May 22, 2018

#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob
On our lunches we go and stare longingly at the artifacts whilst gently caressing the plexi w our gloved hand. We get really attached to the objects. No fingerprints on the glass tho plz. #museumworker pic.twitter.com/51OUQsqXpO

— Meghan Walsh (@meghanmarie007) May 23, 2018

Why yes, as an accountant, I DO like having scattered loose bills of various currencies on my desk while I just hold down the ‘9’ button on a calculator. How else would I get anything done? #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/sUXgWC2OqB

— Nick Barsuli (@njbarsuli) May 25, 2018

Every logo we design is just the word “logo”. We specialise in giving each client the logo they never asked for or wanted and that has nothing to do with their actual company. #BadStockPhotosOfMyJob pic.twitter.com/1T9bQhvI3L

— Osomi Design Agency (@OsomiDesign) May 21, 2018

Heb je zelf een tweet geplaatst onder de hashtag #badstockphotosofmyjob? Of staat jouw job hierboven tussen? Laat het dan zeker weten in een reactie!